The "Jesus Christ Superstar" Story

Imagine a production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

It's towards the end of the show, and the actor playing Jesus is atop a large piece of scenery representing the crucifix. He is surrounded on all sides by soldiers.

One of the soldiers inadvertently stabs the actor (for real) in the abdomen. Shocked and outraged, the actor playing Jesus (who is wearing a body mic) screams "Oww! You Fucking Stabbed Me!"

The curtain is brought down, and the actor playing Jesus is taken off the stage and rushed to hospital.

Desperate to finish the show, the stage manager instructs a by stander (no doubt a stage hand of some sort) to replace the actor on the cross. The stage hand quickly gets into the costume...no doubt a loin cloth...and speedily readies himself on the crucifix.

The curtain rises, and with the persepctive of the set being as it is, and the "new" Jesus being a good foot shorter than the original actor, the audience now sees a 'mini Jesus' on the cross.

The cross had be counter weighed, so at the appropriate moment, the cross could be released from the stage and slowly rise into the rafters of the stage.

Because of the difference in size, the new Jesus was considerably lighter than the original actor (the actor they had used to counter weigh the rig) and so, when released, the entire unit flew upwards, and hit the ceiling of the stage with a crash.

All that could be heard through the crash of the set until was 'mini Jesus' who yelled an audible 'Fuck!'

The stage manager announced on the god mic of the theatre "We simply cannot continue...We've ran out of people to play Jesus"